One of the beautiful things in life is the time we spend with friends. We begin to learn the value of friendship since we are very very young. First, it is all the games and laughs then, it is all the moments that you spent, hours and hours talking, sharing small walks, shopping mall trips, movies, sports, dancing, cocktails and then those milestones in our lives. Some friends come to our life for a period of time, others stay forever in some way. In this journey they are those friends that comes and goes and some that come back and stay as well.
For some reason when we meet someone new, we categorize the person as someone that I can be friends with and someone that I can not be friends. I can tell you that some of my best friends, were the latter. They were difficult to read but what a beautiful reading they were!
Being away from my best friends for some many years, have make me think about all those special moments that I missed. It also recently, makes me realize how difficult it is to find these long lasting friends when you are an adult. We have less available time and a higher set of criteria to comply. We do not rely on our feelings and some of us who does rely on them, get slapped with the reality that not everything is what it seems.
It also makes me think about those friends that for some reason, are not present when they are needed. There have been occasions when I meet someone new and they tell me not so good stories of their friends. Immediately I think why you are telling me this? Sometimes the stories are not bad and are more the need of sharing their concern with someone else, someone new. I have met people that have close friends but then “ignore” their calls on their cellphone all the time and this happen in front of me. I always wonder if they call them back. How do you discern when to answer or when to not, unless you are in a work meeting or something of that nature? It also makes me wonder if their friend is in an emergency and this was the only call they can make and it was ignored. Poor friend!
As an adult we have busy schedules but, after loosing a couple of old friends, I have been dealing with the sadness and guilt of why I did not spend more time with them. I mourned them. Why I was not aware of their demons? They left and our story stayed open. I continue living my life and they have not. I moved and they stay and now they are no-where close. Where was I? What if this happen to some of my best friends?
When I have been the worst friend? I guess that at some point, all of us have behaved as the worst friend and as the best as well. Where I have seen it? I realize that I recognize the worst friend behavior when I have this strange and incredulous feeling that the worst friend is the one that live in their own world without acknowledge that you and others are part of their world. Haven’t all of us done that at some point? The worst friend is not the one that tells me true that I do not want to hear but the one who simply does not care.
Relationships are complex and simple at the same time. Genuine one’s gives us an opportunity of being better and a comforting feeling of just be the friend. Communication is key to make the complex part simple and vice-versa. It is not quantity but quality as well, but is honest communication that exists between true friends. Some with laughs and some with tears, some with frustration and some with compassion, recognizing each soul in the process. I really would like that my friends feel loved and I particularly appreciate the times when they were besides me to laugh, to heal and to wake me up. I hope they are aware how much I love them. We have many ways of communication with our loved ones and we do not use them. This is just one of them…an attempt to not be the “worst friend”.